


Of Love & Wonder

by i_saw_sparks



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: Acting, Chaptered, F/M, Fluff, Long Distance Relationship, Romance, Sex, Smut, Teen love, Tour
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-19
Packaged: 2017-12-15 13:21:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_saw_sparks/pseuds/i_saw_sparks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Our love knows no distance because it has no boundaries, and even when you're a thousand miles away, I still feel like you're right here with me: sitting on the couch, watching tv, keeping your drink on the stupid coaster. I guess there's a piece of you in every single thing I do, like you're a part of me, so I'm never really lonely when you're away."</p><p>I just miss you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Love & Wonder

Heavy lids fluttered over coffee-brown eyes, the rhythmic drum of her fingers against the keyboard threatening to lull him to sleep as he forced a hand through his short, tousled locks. His head shook in the motion, an attempt to jar himself awake.

Logan couldn’t fall asleep. Not tonight.

The movie they’d been watching ended ten minutes ago, replaced by the exaggerated enthusiasm of a late night infomercial for some kitchen gadget, but he hadn’t really paid any attention to it in the first place. Instead, his gaze kept drifting away from the screen, stealing glances of his girlfriend’s silhouette as she sat hunched over her laptop, desperate to meet the midnight deadline for her column. The scene was all too familiar: stretches of fair skin peeking out from beneath a gray sweatshirt, hair swept up into a lopsided ponytail, wisps of chestnut strands framing her face as she squinted at the harshly bright screen in her lap. Logan felt as if they’d been like this forever, limbs splayed out haphazardly beneath mounds of wrinkled cotton sheets, isolated from whatever the rest of the world had to throw at them. Kandi was his safe haven.

But in reality, what seemed like forever boiled down to two years. Twenty-four months. Seven hundred and thirty days. By young Hollywood’s standards, that constituted an eternity, but in the grand scheme of things, two years wasn’t a long time.

The scarce glow from her bedside lamp cast shadows across her features, and he inched across the mattress, letting his chin rest lightly on her shoulder as his eyes strained to make out the words on the screen.

“What are you writing?” The question came out a little more hoarsely than he had expected, causing the silence that had enveloped the small bedroom to collapse.

The pace of her fingers slowed, brown eyes skimming the line she’d just written before she was able to answer him. “Finishing up this response to some girl about ignoring gossip, being the better person, and all that good stuff.”

He chuckled into her neck as his arms wove around her waist. “Should be right up your alley then.”

She tore her stare away from the screen, glancing back at him from beneath a raised eyebrow. “Ha ha,” she retorted dryly, her voice followed close behind by a few additional keystrokes.

It was a subject that hit a little too close to home for both of them. With Kandi Jenkins as one of Hollywood’s most promising young starlets and Logan a member of an internationally known vocal group, their relationship was under public scrutiny from the start, even before they’d started dating. Though she’d never admit it, the pressure really burrowed its way beneath her skin, one of the reasons she wasn’t looking over as many screenplays as she used to, why she turned down the majority of offers her agent pitched to her. Unlike Logan, she’d never really gotten a chance to ease her way into the spotlight. Instead, it caught her like a deer blinded by headlights. Her washed-out complexion and the dark circles that seemed embedded under her eyes gave her away.

But the column in popular teen magazine _Pop Tiger_ was good for her, it kept her name out there without all of the stress and burden that came along with another major motion picture. Plus, it was something she truly enjoyed doing. She’d always been good at offering up objective advice to all of their friends in the apartment building, even though she could never make sense of her own life. An advice column was just another extension of her personality; it came as easily as breathing to her.

But right now, that column was getting in the way, big time.

“Are you almost finished?”

“Still gotta email it to my editor. What’s with the rush anyway?”

He nestled his face deeper into the crook of her neck as a means of dodging her gaze, his words slow and muffled as he spoke. “Well, I _am_ leaving in the morning, and since your mom’s away on business, I was thinking that _maybe_ …” His voice trailed off, lips brushing against the sliver of exposed skin along her neck.

“Stop, that tickles!” she protested despite the laughter that seeped through her voice, playfully shoving him away. “You make it seem as if you’re gonna be gone the entire summer. It’s only a few weeks, no need to be all dramatic and shit.”

“Hey, eight weeks is a long time,” he claimed. He’d never really been good at initiating these sorts of things. Though Kandi was one of the few people he truly felt comfortable with, she still had a way of turning him into a spastic bundle of nerves. “That’s fifty-six days.”

“Well, when you put it that way,” she replied before she raked her hand through the espresso locks along his hairline, giving them a soft tug in her grip. “Just give me a sec, ‘kay?”

A lopsided grin spread across his lips as he backed away, falling back onto the mattress and folding his arms behind his head. From the corner of his eye, he watched as she typed a few last words, her fingers stroking across the trackpad before they pressed down. Her eyes gave the screen a final once-over before she closed the laptop, tucking it away beneath her bed before collapsing onto the stretch of sheets beside him.

With her head propped up on her arm, she looked over at him, a subtle grin creeping across her features as she shifted onto her side. As her smile began to dissolve, it was quickly replaced by a smirk as her lips pursed, her eyes tilting upward towards the ceiling in the motion. The casual, light-hearted atmosphere seemed to fade away, suddenly replaced by awkward silence as the two of them came to realize the significance of the night, the depth of emotions that coursed along with it. It wasn’t until then that they noticed how much they’d been putting it off, avoiding the inevitable.

But their denial was beginning to break.

The truth was that they’d never really been apart. Though Logan’s group was fairly successful, anything resembling a tour had only lasted for a weekend at the most. Kandi could easily survive a weekend by herself, either distracting herself with her work or choosing to spend the free time with her friends, but this wasn’t a mere two days. Logan felt the same way. He would be surrounded by his three best friends, who would no doubt find a multitude of ways to keep his mind off things, but somehow it just wasn’t the same. She was the one he ended up venting to at the end of every rough day, whenever he got into an argument with one of the guys or they were all getting under each other’s skin, and being cramped in a tiny tour bus for eight weeks just seemed like the social equivalent of a pressure cooker.

When he needed her the most, she would be out of his reach.

Kandi could sense the desperation in his listless stare, letting her head rest against his chest as she inched closer to him.

As her thumb brushed over the hem of his t-shirt pocket, she mumbled the words they were both thinking. “As much as I hate to admit it, I know I’m really gonna miss you.”

“Yeah,” he sighed in agreement as he stared up at the ceiling, rubbing her shoulder blade through her sweatshirt. His eyes wandered down to the top of her head as his mind searched for the right words to say to make everything feel okay, but once again, he was left with nothing.

She must have felt his stare because her gaze flickered up to meet his, and their eyes locked for an instant as she nestled her cheek against the soft cotton of his shirt. Logan watched her back sink as she relented a sigh, clutching his shoulder with a firmness that said more than he could ever put into words. If she held him tight enough, maybe she could keep him there. Maybe he would never have to leave.

Logan would’ve been perfectly content to lie there forever, but he couldn’t keep his mind from straying back to the promise she’d made to him only minutes ago. When she leaned up to plant a quick kiss on the corner of his lips, he grabbed the opportunity, returning the gesture with more intensity. With his eyes closed, his fingers curved to cup her jaw, pulling her face closer to his as their kiss grew less frantic. He could feel her eyes open, her lashes a soft tickle against his skin, but he didn’t mimic her. Instead, his touch began to brush along her neck, toying with the loose ends of her ponytail.

Intimacy still made him insane with the jitters, and his stomach felt like it was doing cartwheels in his abdomen as they both began to step up the pace. As his fingers trailed up the length of her ponytail, he allowed her to have free reign over the kiss, her lips tenderly blending into his as he fumbled for the elastic band in her hair.

Kandi smiled into the kiss before she pulled away, her fingers grasping the bottom band of her hoodie as she pulled it over her head and shoulders, revealing the white tank top underneath. Once she ducked back down to continue the kiss, Logan welcomed her with open arms, hands drifting down her sides before settling along the curve of her hips. It wasn’t until they’d established a steady kissing momentum that his touch began to wander once more, ready to complete the task he’d started before. Fingertips hooked the elastic, easing her hair free as she deepened the kiss, and with his free hand, he guided her, applying the slightest bit of pressure to the patch of skin between her shoulder blades. Following the motion, she leaned forward, her hips rocking against his as the fresh scent of her shampoo flooded his nostrils.

Logan tugged at her lower lip as he broke away, his eyes glazing over her before burying his face in her neck. His breath was hot against her skin as his lips trembled against the flesh, briefly curving around her pulse before darting up to her temple. The night seemed almost infinite. Time ceased to be an object. For once, Logan wasn’t in a hurry to be finished with the act. Each kiss was slow and deliberate, and her fingers tugging gently at the neckline of his shirt, brushing against the fair skin, worked to reassure him.

He could hear her breathing grow heavy in his ear. The cold sensation of the metal band of her promise ring brushed against his hot skin she stroked the muscles along the nape of his neck. Caught up in all of the competing touches, sounds, and emotions running rampant in his mind, Logan was surprised when she pulled away abruptly, practically leaping off of the bed. His brows furrowed in confusion, but his eyes never left her. She lent him reassurance in the form of a faint smile as she unclasped the silver sand dollar necklace from around her neck, letting the jewelry fall in a shimmering pile on her nightstand. Her impatience continued to get the better of her as she shimmied out of her shorts, the navy blue cotton gathering in a pile at her feet before she stepped out of them. The lace-trimmed camisole was the next to go as she pulled the top over her shoulders, discarding the flimsy fabric before returning to the bed.

Once she’d repositioned herself over him, pulling her loose hair over one shoulder, Kandi couldn’t help but laugh when she met Logan’s stare.

“What is it?” he whispered, her half-hearted smile mirrored on his lips.

“Nothing…” She diverted her gaze as she uttered a few more chuckles. “It’s just, I don't think this is even _hardly_ fair,” she replied as she wove a hand over her own barely clad frame, her eyes flickering back towards him.

With a sigh, Logan relented, shedding his own t-shirt and tossing it off the side of her bed. Almost immediately after, he was met with her lips pressed against his own with a fierce force.

“Don’t laugh,” she murmured between kisses as he wrapped his arms around her. “But your lips kinda taste like cherries.”

He smiled up at her as he reached in between their two bodies, digging around in the pocket of his shorts for the tiny tube of chapstick.

“I asked Carlos to pick me up some when he went to the store, but instead of the regular kind, he got the cherry flavored,” Logan explained with a shrug before reaching over, letting the tube roll across the nightstand.

“Well,” she said softly, leaning closer to him, so close that the tips of their noses touched. “It’s a nice change.”

As she continued, peppering his chest and stomach with light kisses, she looked up at him. “Are you sure you don’t want to switch?”

Logan shook his head. “Nah, I’m fine right here.” His lips twisted in a cocky smirk, and his girlfriend was eager to kiss the expression off his face.

As their lips exchanged silent secrets, blending into one another with ease, Logan’s hands began to traverse her body. Palms skimmed her chest, fingertips traced spirals into the soft flesh along her stomach, and a hand gripped her hip, anchoring her. His touch grazed down her sides, one hand resting on the small of her back while the other stroked the back of her thigh. It was the little things about her body that differed from his own that drew him in, like how much softer she was, how her body curved in ways that his own didn’t.

She enjoyed exploring every inch of him too, letting her fingers tiptoe down his stomach until they reached the waistband of his sweatpants. He hated to admit it, but they were his favorite pair, a reminder of his junior varsity hockey days before he and his three best friends had been suddenly thrust into fame. They were a worn, heathered gray, the elastic in the waist had gone slack ages ago, and the hems along the legs were beginning to fray, but something about them just felt like home.

But even though the sweats acted as a form of security blanket for him, Logan wasn’t against taking them off, and the idea was sounding increasingly better as he felt her rub the soft material into his inner thigh. It was one of her moves, but he murmured his appreciation regardless because no matter how many times she did it, it still felt good. She’d always start off by teasing him, lazily massaging the muscles of his inner thigh, letting her thumb stroke across the stretch of skin from his knee to his hip, and just when he felt her touch draw near, the touch he so desperately needed, it would flutter away, toying with the soft curly hairs below his navel or giving his hipbone a quick squeeze. He’d grown so accustomed to the game that he found himself trying to mimic her touch when he was alone.

This night was no different. Her hand ran up and down his thigh, her fingers trailing up and along the inseam of his pants. Her touch was never consistent, and even in the off chance that it did happen to brush against his dick, it was just a fleeting thing, never the friction that he wanted. Nevertheless, even the slightest of touches would make the muscles in the pit of his stomach tighten.

It only frustrated the hell out of him because he knew she was holding out on him. Though they’d both only ever been with each other, things of that nature seemed to come more naturally to her for some reason. Maybe it was just another aspect of their personalities: while Logan tended to be more anxious and always on edge, Kandi was more laid-back and less self-conscious. There never seemed to be any trace of fear or hesitation in her eyes, and a part of her seemed to know his body even better than he did.

Slowly but surely, Logan was getting used to things.

His mind still had a tendency to get ahead of his body, and without sparing a passing thought, Logan came to the decision that he couldn’t take it any longer, his thumbs hooking into the tattered waistband of his sweats as he eased them down his thighs. A sigh pushed past his lips as soon as he felt the relieving gush of cool air against his skin. As Kandi shifted her weight, he worked the material the rest of the way down his legs, using his feet to push the pants further into the mound of sheets at the footboard of the bed.

Once his limbs had ceased their wriggling, Kandi laughed softly as she held his thighs. “You set?”

Though his eyes rolled in response, his lips curved to mimic her playful grin before his head lolled back into the pillow, his eyes falling closed as he felt her hand begin to ease him out of his underwear. The soft texture of her palm combined with the firmness of her grip around the base of his shaft to provide a pleasurable contrast. As she sunk into the mattress beside him, her head resting on his chest and her eyes gazing up at him, watching every flicker and spark of expression, her hand pumped him lazily. A thumb coursed down the side of his shaft, its direction countered by the motion of her finger as it ran back up towards the tip, tracing the veins that stood out along the underside of his shaft. Her hand provided the perfect twists and jerks, each new sensation provoking a different soft and wrecked sound from the recesses of his throat. It was difficult to resist that primal urge to buck into her grip, his hips writhing against the mattress impatiently as his teeth gnawed at his lower lip.

His breath caught in the back of his throat as her thumb quickly brushed over the head before gently massaging circles into the sensitive spot underneath. A flutter of fingertips lightly grazed the erect flesh before Logan felt her body shift beside him. He felt her sit up, but he couldn’t be bothered to open his eyes.

Logan could feel her fingers lightly inch under the waistband of his boxer-briefs, tugging them down the slightest bit before she planted a kiss on his exposed hipbone. Her warm breath ran down the length of his erection, and when he could feel her stare trained on him, he finally opened his eyes, responding to her questioning look with a slight shake of his head.

While he appreciated the offer, it wasn’t exactly how he wanted to end the night.

She made her way back up his frame, letting her body rest along his before pressing her lips against his slowly. His arms wove around her, hands running up and down her back as he held her. Logan enjoyed the moments of calm, the warmth of her bare skin against his own, watching her as they exchanged slow and tender kisses.

Though he relished those moments, his body protested, the dull throb between his hips urging him to go further.

As she kissed along his neck, Logan’s fingers ducked beneath her bra strap, massaging the patch of skin in the center of his back as his thumb subtly ran across the series of hooks, trying to figure out what he was getting into before he actually tried to get it undone. He’d embarrassed himself far too many times to take that chance tonight.

Easing his fingers from beneath the strap, his hand curved around the fabric, fingers clenching as he managed to get it unfastened in one swift and fluid motion. He felt her lips curve into a smile against his neck before she rose up, shrugging her bra off her shoulders before tossing it aside. Logan sat up to meet her in a simple kiss. His lips lingered along hers as his hands began to stray, first gripping her upper arm before running down her sides, giving her hips a quick squeeze before his palm coursed up her stomach. Her fingers began to thread through his hair, disheveling the dark locks from the nape of his neck to the crown of his head as his hand cupped her breast, slowly massaging the supple flesh as their lips brushed against one another.

The pace suddenly shifted as Kandi’s teeth quickly sank into his bottom lip, her brown eyes snapping open to meet his as her fingers tugged his hair.

“Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be?” he asked with a laugh.

When she responded with nothing but a grin and a quick nod, he didn’t waste any time getting back at her, pulling her on top of him as they both fell back into the mattress together. He couldn’t help but grin into the kiss that followed, his lips parting as his hand wandered, running along the back of her thigh, stroking her through her underwear.

Despite being with her for so long, Logan was always a little cautious when the time came for him to make his move. He never knew if what he was doing was right or awkwardly wrong until he gauged her reaction. Though he’d gotten a lot better, he still had to work at some things. Not everything came second nature to him, so he wasn’t at the point where he could let go entirely.

Her glutes tightened as his fingers began to curve against her, providing more friction with each slow, steady stroke. She trembled once his fingertips brushed against the right spot, and as the pace of his strokes began to quicken and the pressure became rougher, Logan could hear her breathing grow more jagged and labored. Her lips gaped against his as she became less involved in the kiss, and Logan used the temporary lapse to his advantage, kissing her forcefully as he suddenly palmed her. He swallowed the sharp moan that followed, his confidence growing with each vocal of approval.

Once his fingers began to inch towards the flimsy lace waistline, she jerked away.

“I’m pretty sure it’s your turn” was her smug response as he trailed her gaze down to his own underwear.

He forced out an overly dramatic sigh before flashing her a quick grin, rolling out from underneath her to sit on the edge of the bed. Before he removed the final article of clothing, he grabbed his wallet from her nightstand, fishing out the square packet and quickly tearing it open. Once he’d wriggled free of his underwear, he proceeded to roll the condom down the length of his shaft. He actually jumped a little when he felt his girlfriend’s arms wrap around his neck, her lips pressing against his shoulder.

“Don’t be so damn nervous,” she murmured the tease in his ear before pulling away, but it was something that was easier said than done.

“I am not nervous,” he said with a half-hearted laugh as he rolled onto his back.

She leaned over to kiss him as she straddled his hips. “You’re not very convincing.”

He hooked two fingers into the waistband of her panties and gave the lace a quick tug as he raised an eyebrow. “Maybe if these weren’t in the way, I could be more convincing.”

The suggestion wasn’t lost on her, and she was quick to shed the fabric, losing the scanty piece of clothing somewhere in the sheets to be hunted down later.

Despite the mixed emotions, it was surprisingly easy for both of them to be in their natural states together. Maybe it was because neither of them had anything to hide or because they both felt completely comfortable together, content with the fact that the other party would never judge them.

Once they had established a steady momentum and pattern to their kisses, the rest of their bodies began to fall into the same natural rhythm. His hold was an anchor on her hips, on her thighs, keeping her steady while they grinded. As her hipbones rolled against his, he could feel the warmth of her body sliding up and down his shaft, the friction he’d craved so badly before growing more and more intolerable with each movement.

Logan brought the kiss to a sudden halt, pulling away as he held onto her gaze, hesitant to say the words even though he knew she wouldn’t give in until he did. His breath remained shaky, his lower lip jutting into a slight pout as he uttered the single word, “Please.”

She didn’t answer him outright, choosing instead to bury her face in his neck, coating the delicate skin in light kisses as her hips crashed harder against his, eliciting fragile, desperate noises from the body beneath her.

Her lips left his neck, finding their way back to his lips as she repositioned her weight, clutching his shoulders, her thumbs grazing his collarbone as her hips began to swivel. His grip on her flesh tightened as he felt himself entering her slowly. As his thighs began to quiver, he held her with even more force. Each movement was slow and subtle at first as they both grew accustomed to the sensation.

When their breaths drew longer and the erratic thuds of their pulses were steadier, she began to rotate her hips against his, and even though Logan wanted so badly to keep his eyes shut, to become completely immersed in his sense of touch, he couldn’t resist the temptation to watch. His eyes drifted open, struggling to soak every inch of the room in while still maintaining his hold on her, forcing his hips to buck up harder against hers with each thrust.

Their voices began to blend in the air, moans intertwined with drawn out syllables, laced with breathy versions of each other’s names, and they were both grateful that they had the apartment to themselves so that they weren’t forced to stifle anything. The cacophony quickly reached its peak before it dissipated into labored breaths, every muscle in their body tensed, eager for the inevitable release. Once it came, Logan’s grip was still firm, even as all the air gushed from his lungs in an exhausted sigh. He was determined not to let go until she was finished, and even after she collapsed on top of him, strands of her hair tickling his chest and neck, he still held on. Logan watched as her back heaved and sank, his arms wove around her shoulders, hands resting on the small of her back as they both struggled to collect themselves.

As he stared up at the ceiling, he couldn’t keep his mind from wandering on. A part of him still wanted more, but he was too exhausted to continue.

Equally exhausted, Kandi gave him one last kiss goodnight before she rolled onto her side and pulled the sheets up over her shoulder. He heard her whisper a faint “I love you” as she nestled into the pillow, an attempt to get comfortable.

Logan wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. “I love you, too.”

She reached over to turn off the bedside lamp, and they were both silent for a moment, both aware that they needed to say something but every word that came to mind seemed meaningless.

“I wish I could stay here forever,” he said softly, an edge of laughter to his voice. “Fuck the guys, fuck Gustavo, fuck the tour. Just me and you.”

“Mmm,” he could hear her sigh wistfully in the dark. “I wish you could too, but that’s just the way it is. I’ll miss you though.”

“It’s not like I’m gonna be gone the entire summer,” he repeated her previous statement as he snuggled up against her, refusing to loosen his hold.

She glanced back at him as she retorted, “Hey, eight weeks is a long time.”

“I know, I know,” he admitted, his voice tinged with guilt. “I promise I’ll call you every night though.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she replied. “I know you’re going to be busy and everything. You need to focus on putting on a good show. I’ll still be here when you get back, don’t worry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though this could stand alone as a oneshot (as well as the next four chapters to follow), this was written as a sort of epilogue to the oneshots in my Logan Mitchell prompt table. Each chapter is loosely based on a Maroon 5 song.
> 
> I could definitely use the feedback since I've never written a short chaptered fic before.
> 
> Tracklisting:
> 
> Overall theme: "Story"  
> Chapter One: "Sweetest Goodbye"  
> Chapter Two: "She Will Be Loved"  
> Chapter Three: "Little of Your Time"  
> Chapter Four: "Goodnight, Goodnight"  
> Chapter Five: "Sunday Morning"
> 
> I also listened to "Heartbeat" by The Fray while writing this chapter.


End file.
